Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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