So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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