I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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