I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
