I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
