I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
