Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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