similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
