saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They took my balls.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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