very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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