Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
