i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
