i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
