No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
