I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
