Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
