she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
