You really coming over, don't trick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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