It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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