So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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