its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
