If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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