Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
