First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
