Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize