Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Randomize
