I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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