Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
