it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
