Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This is my gift to your gina
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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