we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
