I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize