theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize