even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
