you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
