Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
