i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
