i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize