So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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