well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
