ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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