She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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