when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize