Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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