dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
