I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
