How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize