**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
As shirtless as possible
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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