You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
