It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
