She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
im on a boat
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