so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
