Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
