if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
