they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
