is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
