Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
