At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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