is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
