go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize