honey bunches of taint.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
