i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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