The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
