we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
operation harelip BJ is a go
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
